Promises

I woke up yesterday morning at 9am and the first words out of my husbands mouth are, "What were you doing online last night?" I was baffled since I specifically decided to avoid his making fun of me and NOT tell him about this blog for awhile (damn those beers I had before bed, I forgot to close my word document). At this point, I'm hoping he's talking about something else... "What do you mean??" I say with fake puzzlement. Directly he says, "Spoiled Housewife's... sounds like a porn site." So with that, my little secret of 10 hours was thrown into the atmosphere and I felt, well, really fucking stupid.

The rest of the day I was concerned; Do I have him read it? Do I say nothing? Do I wonder if he's reading it? Shit, I look like a tard! We talked a little about it and I ended up having him read it so I could just get it out of the way. After that, I went from feeling stupid to just plain embarrassed. After I wrote our story though, I really started feeling confident. There is nothing in this world right now that I am more interested in or passionate about than my family. What better way to renew my passion for writing, a topic I could go on and on and on about. I don't care if this doesn't interest anyone else, I only care that I give my life, our life and story, a voice. Now my brain is going crazy with wonderful, exciting ways to do that!

Pick a topic... Mac's cheating father, my alcoholic ex-cop father, our preemie baby, our hell child, starting a business, gambling, traveling, my mom's death or Mac's battle with his temper... I could go on for DAYS and now I have 362 more to do just that.

What is even more exciting about this is, to get back to my topic of Promises, I'm already seeing some of the ways this is going to help me. Day 1, I decided to promise myself on paper (well screen) to write everyday. I knew this would make sure I had a reason to write - you know, what if I didn't write one day and that was the ONE day I got a view on this stupid thing?? SOO, Day 2, after bringing back wonderful memories of me and Mac, I was inspired to give him a little.. ummm "promise 2" and OOOHHH did I!

Without going into detail (no need to prove Mac right and turn this into a porn site), I was in the mindset to be more giving. I was ready to have fun and without even trying or planning anything. I didn't do what I thought he wanted or what I normally do, I just went with it. It made such a difference, not because "I'll do it because I 'promised' to", it was  "I promised to because I really want to do it."  It helped me own the fact that sex wasn't something that just happened, but something I really wanted to make happen. When we were going to bed later that night, I honestly said, "Man, that was kind of empowering." STOP HERE.... WHAT?? That's what I said I wanted to do in the description of this blog! It really hit me like that. I wanted to jump up and down screaming, "I did it. I'm doing it... what I said I wanted to do!!" It made me feel... wait for it... even more empowered.

So just like that, with a couple promises and some great sex, I'm 100% convinced this year and my life will be better because of this blog. I hope I can find a few people to join me!


So, Promise #2 ~ check and CHECK, if I do say so myself! Good lookin out S!

Promise #3 ~ Get the fucking laundry done lazy. I mean all of it. Done doesn't mean the last two loads in the washer and dryer... it means ALL washed, dried, folded and put away... before bed! (damn, I'm a bitch to myself. Maybe that's tomorrows topic!)

**S**